An HIV diagnosis is still a devastating experience and in the time before antiretroviral therapy it seemed like a death sentence. I was diagnosed in 1993 and informed my CD4 count was 9 and told I had two years at the most to enjoy what was left of my life. Before my diagnosis I felt I had the world at my feet and my life was blessed. As a consequence of this diagnosis I lost my health, career, relationship and home within a matter of months. Added to this I was caring for several friends in the advanced stages of AIDS, all of who subsequently died. I became acquainted with many churches and crematoria in the Greater London area.

I started taking Septrin as a prophylaxis against PCP and my system reacted badly. I had my first admission to an AIDS ward at St Marys hospital in Paddington in June 1994 and since then have been an in-patient more than thirty times, four of which I did not expect to survive. On many occasions I prepared for my death, planned my funeral and informed loved ones only to recover unexpectedly. I was becoming the boy who cried wolf.

Throughout all this I have had amazing support from family and friends which I feel has been the fundamental key to my survival. I looked so ill at times that there was no way I could keep it hidden. At first I found it difficult having to deal with their emotions but when they saw I didn’t adopt a victim mentality they rallied to encourage and support me in any decisions I made about my treatment and care.

In 1999 I agreed to start antiretroviral therapy which at first I found difficult to adapt to but six years on I am still taking the same combination. In April 2002 I took a treatment holiday with the consent of my doctor but after two months I began developing skin problems and digestive issues.

My health is currently good and I am rebuilding my life. I have three voluntary jobs, a beautiful garden and am doing an NVQ computer course. I think less of dying and am coming to terms with the fact I may have a future. My HIV has not gone away but with continued treatment and the support of a loving family and group of friends I have become optimistic and less fatalistic!